It’s the end of the world as we know it. But we’ll be fine.

If you missed it this week, the scientific community announced an ironic pair of headlines: Earth will soon be destroyed, yet humans will live forever.

A group of  “22 internationally known” UC Berkeley scientists state that the world is totally screwed, as we approach half our land becoming industrialized: “Scientists uncover evidence of impending tipping point for Earth.”

However, not to be outdone, Ray Kurzweil, an inductee into the Inventors Hall of Fame with 18 Doctorates and a Lifetime Achievement Award as an inventor of computer technology, believes that, in just a few more generations, we humans won’t be able to tell the difference between our wives and robots–and that we will soon be invincible! “Immortality Possible in Just 30 Years?” (Inc.)

Now I’d hate to take sides on something I’m completely unqualified to even discuss–however, everybody’s doing it–it’s an election year! So let me just say that I prefer the “live forever” point of view.

I like it because it doesn’t require that we freeze ourselves and come back to life like Encino Man. Nor does it necessitate that we be the sole survivors of the already-begun zombie apocalypse (like Will Smith and his pooch). Also, let’s face it, it’s just more convenient to sit back and allow geniuses to invent stuff that fixes our problems. Having a different set of geniuses tell us that WE need to fix our OWN problems is just too emotionally jarring.

And I love technology! You, too, right?

Aren’t you as excited as a 12-yr-old boy at Comic-Con when you think of all the cool keep-us-alive technology we’ll get to play with? If you think digital music and Farmville are fun, wait until you don’t even need to think to eat!

Just imagine being able to program your entire upcoming week during halftime of Monday Night Football.

And speaking of football! Don’t even get me started on the amazing games and plays we’ll be able to witness when robots replace that old school technology of human beings on the gridiron. Sorry Janikowski, Elam and Dempsey, you can still have that tie for the longest “human” field goal of all time, but that measly 63-yards of yours will be toast when C-3PO’s offspring steps foot on the turf of Galactica Stadium.

And who wouldn’t want to see an automated version of Cirque du Soleil with absolutely no human interaction!? Real human emotions like fear and pride just get in the way, anyway.

So focus on future fun, not past transgressions. Look forward to the gradual elimination of nature and the uprising of programmed automation! It’s easier to deal with–for now. I mean, seriously, who needs a bunch of Debbie Downer scientists interfering with progress toward the elimination of the human process.

One thought on “It’s the end of the world as we know it. But we’ll be fine.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s